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Staying Happy During Pregnancy
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Pregnancy Bible

How To Get Your Man To Pamper You During Your Pregnancy

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Current Course: Staying Happy During Pregnancy

Image via J & J Brusie Photography
Image via J & J Brusie Photography

I have a small confession for you all here today:

During each of my three pregnancies, there is only one thing that I wanted most in the world, through the months of morning sickness, swollen feet, and backache. 

I wanted to be pampered. 

Yes, I know women are supposed to have it all and do it all and pregnancy is obviously not an illness that should hold us back from anything, ever! But still, can I just admit honestly that for me…

Pregnancy is hard

Perhaps I'm just a whiny, self-indulgent individual, but through my collective 2 and 1/2 years of growing human beings, I hoped against hope for just a leeetle extra pampering from my husband. 

Sometimes I got it. But mostly, I didn't. 

So, for you ladies that still have a chance with your men, here's my guide to getting a little extra pampering during your pregnancies. Because I don't care what the hair commercials say–pregnancy deserves it. 

Image via Free Digital Photos
Image via Free Digital Photos

1. Ask for what you want. Sure, this one sounds simple, but how many of us yearn for our husbands or partners to just know what we want without us having to ask? And while I completely understand that wish, because it's how many of our love languages operate, I also know that to many men, pregnant wives are creatures of mystery, so unless you tell him, he's not thinking about it.

Image via HeyDanielle/Flickr
Image via HeyDanielle/Flickr

2. Can't reach your feet? No problem! Here's the perfect opportunity for you man to show his nurturing side–ask him for a helping hand in painting your toes. You'll probably have a great time laughing about it and by the end, you'll have a nice little at-home man manicure.

{ MORE:  Pregnancy Pedicures  }

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Image via Freedigitalphotos.net
Image via Freedigitalphotos.net

3. Understand that he can't understand. Honestly, I don't care how empathetic your man is, no one can understand pregnancy unless they've been pregnant. It's kind of an indescribable experience. So don't expect him to always remember that your back hurts or the smell of beans makes you want to barf. I promise, he's not doing it on purpose. 

Image via FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4. Ask for a massage. I love massages. I would get one every day if I had the money to make that happen. And although I can't always beg my husband for a massage every night like I want to, when I'm pregnant, it's always a good time to ask. Because let's face it, everything always hurts when you're pregnant.

Image via FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. Don't be so good at everything. This one might sound silly, but bear with me. Since you've gotten pregnant, have you changes your routine at all? Are you still up at the crack of dawn, working out, working hard, coming home, making dinner, cooking, and cleaning? Or, if you have young kids at home, are you still running around, taking care of the house, and making Pin-worthy crafts?  Woman, give yourself a break! It can be hard for us to let anything drop off of our radars, but let your man help out more during the months of your pregnancy. It's a way for him to help you (since he can't exactly be pregnant) and for you to feel closer to him. Win-win. 

Image via Freedigitalphotos.net
Image via Freedigitalphotos.net

6. Don't feel guilty. This one was major for me. I was so focused on proving that pregnancy wouldn't slow me down and that I could be a supermom that – quite frankly – I was exhausted. I struggled with feelings of guilt during my pregnancy about wishing my husband would help me more or snuggle with me more. But you know what? A happy mom is a good mom, so lose the guilt. 

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Image via J&J Brusie Photography
Image via J&J Brusie Photography

 
7. Realize no two couples are the same. Just as no two pregnancies are the same, every relationship dynamic is different. I may have begrudged a girl in my mom's group whose husband rubbed her feet daily and did all the cooking and cleaning, but the point is–we are not them. Just because your man is a little less pampering during pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care for your and your baby. That being said however, don't be afraid to speak up and let him know you need a bit more lovin.'

What is your favorite way to be pampered during pregnancy? 

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What do you think?

How To Get Your Man To Pamper You During Your Pregnancy

Chaunie Brusie is a writer, mom of four, and founder of The Stay Strong Mom, a community + gift box service for moms after loss. ... More

Tell us what you think!

9 comments

  1. Casey Kerver says:

    my boyfriend does great foot massages. My pregnancy didn’t come at a good time, i work 68 hrs a week while he struggles to collect hrs from his job. He does everything in his power to ensure that I am happy. I’m 15 weeks and 5 days along so I have a long ways to go but having him by my side makes it go easier.

  2. AhavaMama3 says:

    I appreciate these tips… I bet they work well for a mild mannered and even tempered husband. I have been working on just asking my hubby for help instead of wishing he’d ask me if I need something. My wishing he’d ask me for something or simply asking how I feel has only left me angry and disappointed. Sometimes he does what I ask but usually it take some unfortunate and unnecessary negotiating and commentary before he says yes. When he says no or “forgets” I take it hard but I’m learning to just get over it and try to do it myself if I can. Pretty much this pregnancy is teaching me to do for myself what I want/need done and if I cannot then just pay someone or ask a girlfriend because it’s not worth the drama to me. Sounds sour but it’s a reality for those of us whose husband don’t understand and can’t find a way to empathize with the woman who is carrying their child. can ya tell i’m still hurt and disappointment!? I will say I appreciate my husband cleaning the kitchen recently, I need to go tell him thanks.

  3. Lisset says:

    I wish my husband was like that, I’d have to beat it out of him! I can’t ask him anything without him complaining about it, so I just don’t ask at all. He says he’s tired, well I work a full time job too on top of that I cook and clean and help the kids with homework after school. And God forbid I don’t clean for a few days or don’t want to cook that night, he’s all over me. Pshh… I gotta pamper myself, and I don’t even have time for that. snuggling? whats that? I sleep by myself on the edge of the bed. I may have raging hormones to blame and I always have to remind him that I’m pregnant, but he never understands, never will. just like this last part says. But oh well….. My first pregnancy was so much better than this one.

  4. Theresa says:

    The only “tip” I saw was to ask for what you want and the rest focused on how you should allow yourself to feel. Some days I do feel like Super Woman and others I feel like a lazy slob. Either way, my husband still goes to work 40+ hours a week and I still have to pick up all the slack around the house. It’s up to me to make myself feel pampered, not him.

  5. Rose says:

    So glad for this post it touched on important issues, it is so important to communicate your needs.

  6. Jessica says:

    I have loved my husband lately for rubbing lotion on my back!! My skin is so itchy and normally I am not a fan of lotion, but I’ve been lathering it on! I can’t reach my back, and love that my man is happy to help out!!

  7. TaKeisha says:

    My husband gives very good massages!!!

  8. Lynna says:

    I love massages and bubble baths!!!AHHHH

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